The Measure of a Man

Growing up, my father was my biggest influence.  He was there through the tears, the laughter, the jokes, and the milestones.  I would not say that my child was perfect, nor would I say it was not.  It was my childhood, which is going to be different from yours.  What I do know looking back, is that my father taught me what a husband would be.

Depending on where you are in the world the cultures are different.  In my lovely small town in Minnesota, we do not do arranged marriages. I guess you could say that the pool is small, unless you venture and attend college elsewhere. A common thread is that the father’s have taught their son’s how to treat their future spouse/spouse.  One holds the door, helps with what is needed, etc.  The concept that a mom can stay home is still here, but let’s face it: In today’s world, both need to work… At least for us, that is how it is. Hockey is expensive, plain and simple.

But, back to my point.  My father taught me how to measure my future husband in terms of traits.  He should be able to laugh with me, not at me (which does happen); he should be there for the good and the bad.  Just because something is hard, it is not over.  He also taught me that one should never, NEVER, raise a hand to a female.  Regardless of the circumstances, there IS ALWAYS another option.  I know that I might receive some backlash for my feelings, but please remember that our life events are influenced by what we have seen growing up.

To often we hold people to unobtainable standards.  I mean, have we not see Deadpool? 🙂  Yet, what I can measure is the fact that my husband and I have been together 10 years.  It is has been difficult, it has been dark.  But there has been laughter, memories, tears, children, and challenges.  At the end of the day, we may not like each other.  But regardless, we still love each other.  That is something that does not need to be measured, because it can be seen.

~J.J.~

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