Temporary Feelings

Joy, fear, bliss, sadness.  All of these feelings come and go in our lives at one point or another.  The key, is how does one react to the temporary feelings? We can feed into them, or we can react differently.  But, being the flawed humans we are, it is not an easy task.  What I have found, however, has brought me some type of peace in all situations.

Image result for e buddhism quotesLife is filled with uncertainty.  This is something I am sure of.  Everything is impermanent.  It is in motion, constantly changing.  Our cells regenerate, thus, we are literally NOT the same person we were five minutes ago.

Being that life is temporary, how do the reactions of ourselves to emotions affect us? We can be like the ocean, ebb and flow with the waves of life.  As I have stated in a previous post, who knows what is good and what is bad? The feelings of life that can consume us in the moment, it is best t remember that it is temporary.  The feelings of sadness, grief, and pain will always pass.  The feelings of joy, bliss, happiness, and love will also pass.  But what we decide to do with them is up to us.  We can cling to the memories and moments that brought us joy.  Even though we try to forget the feelings and moments of pain, we also should hold onto them.  The moments that have tested our very being are what help to grow us.  Yet, it is also temporary!

What about you? Do you believe that the feelings of life are temporary? Certain feelings and moments stay with us.  Our choice to hold on to the anger or sadness  is what we can make.  Do you hold onto moments, or have you accepted them and moved on? Life is a journey and each walk our own path. But, we do not ever walk alone, because of friends.



Life as Opaque?

Opaque is defined as “not able to be seen through; not transparent.” Often this term is used to define a style of tight or leggings.  They are not sheer, yet they are not solid.  They are somewhere in the middle.  Just enough to obscure what is beneath it; yet still letting the substance be seen.

In the world today, some have taken to having an opaque sense about them.  With a group of friends, at work, and with family; three different personas arise.  But underneath it all, there is the truth.  I know that I can be guilty of being opaque in life also.  I do not always want what is real to be seen by the world.

Case in point: My father passed away after a courageous battle with cancer.  The morning he passed, I held his hand, told him I loved him and that we will see each otherWedding soon.  Twenty minutes later I was at home brushing my teeth and loading up the car for an all day long hockey tournament.  For 15 hours I was the happy, funny, loving goalie mom.  Inside, my heart was breaking.  The amount of strength it took to keep it together is not something I would ever like to repeat.  15 hours later we were home. I broke the news to my son that his best friend and hero had passed away.  While my son fell apart in my lap, I remained calm and reassuring.  After he was in bed, I finally let myself fall apart. I was a puddle of emotions. Fear, anger, sadness, and a sense of loss that cannot be described in words followed.

To those on the outside looking at me on that day, I was the same.  Inside, I was a mess.  I made the decision to become Opaque for the world.  My son needed me to be strong, my husband was helping on the bench.  He knew, yet we were the only ones.  Instead, why did I not make the decision to become transparent? Even though my pain was real, the support of friends would have helped ease the burden that day.  I would have been allowed to feel the pain, yet knowing I was surrounded by friends would have helped.

My example might not be the best, yet I do feel that it illustrates how many of us do cover up our fears, sadness, and pain. We hide behind masks of happiness, fun, and the general “life is good” feeling.  One thing that I have accepted since his passing is that I am not as strong as I thought.  I need my family and friends. I need to know that it is perfectly acceptable to fall apart. Tears are part of life. The passing of a loved one is never easy.  Yet, it is through the heartache that we learn that we can be transparent, not opaque.  It is fine to allow myself to be me, flawed and imperfect.

My question to you is thus: what would happen if we became more transparent and less opaque?


Expanding on Impermanence

Nothing Lasts ForeverImpermanence is a tricky subject.  In today’s world the concept of impermanence applies more so to objects and items, rather than to life.

In Buddhist thought, impermanence holds that nothing will every be the same.  Events change, people come and go, and life can change.  Impermanence helps to provide the foundation for the first Noble Truth (more on that later).  How does one begin to wrap their head around the fact that nothing states the same? It isn’t easy, nor should it be.  Through study, one is able take hold of the difficult, complex topic and make it understandable.

Case in point: when the next Iphone or Galaxy is released, hundreds of thousands of people will buy this version simply because it is new.  The current phone, though still functional, will either be traded in, sold, or discarded for something that is new, shiny, and a “must have.”

By using the phone as a metaphor, life is in a constant state of change. Just as cells are always regenerating, each moment will never be able to happen exactly as it was before.  In our lives there are moments we are thankful for that we will not repeat.  Thankfully, due to the concept of impermanence, we will not have too.  For the moments that we wish we could recreate at any moment: we are out of luck.  We may try to recreate them at a later time, yet something will be different: weather, time of day, age of people, the list goes on.  For the moments that we wish we can hold onto: they will live on in our hearts.

Impermanence also allows for the difficult times when one does not feel that they can begin again to understand that it will pass.  Events change. We change. We are given a new opportunity each and every moment. Thanks to the concept of impermanence, we can begin a new, at any time.




The 8th Dwarf was named Cranky

Cranky is a word that can mean many things.  For one, it is a name of an engine on Thomas the Train.  Cranky can also refer to a machine working poorly.  More commonly, crankyCranky refers to a state of being if one becomes irritated with a situation.

I have learned on this “quest” of mine that becoming cranky is a result of how one reacts to the situations around us.  We cannot control situations, but we CAN control how we react to the events as they appear around us/ happen to us.  If one makes the decision to react with anger because they were reprimanded, that is the reaction to the action.  Or, if a chaotic day at work carries over into the home environment, that is also a reaction.

I would love to say that I am never cranky, irritated, or upset.  However, that would be the farthest thing from the truth.  I have become more mindful of my actions and how I react to situations around me.  Comparing myself to now to where I was at the beginning of the year, there is a change.  I process things more internally before I react outwardly.  Cranky is a part of the human nature, yet it is also a part of our nature that we can seek to tamper.

Have any of you sought to tamper the reaction of the 8th Dwarf: Cranky?


~J. J. ~